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In what has become an annual tradition reflecting the increasingly competitive Passover holiday, Jewish dads across the nation have begun erecting gaudy displays for the slavery-themed celebration. Popular decorations include animatronic models of the Prophet Elijah and gallons and gallons of lamb’s blood.
“We really went all out this year,” said area electrician and Jewish dad Howard Silverman. “It’s no big deal. Just grabbed some plywood from the Home Depot, ran my siphon down to the slaughterhouse, and put in a call to my locust guy. I think the neighbors get a real kick out of it.”
Silverman’s wife and children declined to comment.
“Some of these guys are real showoffs,” said Silverman’s neighbor Donny Mandel, who opted for a more restrained display. “But I’m not one of those dads who needs to be the flashiest Jew on the block. You can work wonders with a tasteful coat of blood and a few authentic Hebrew slaves.”
Added Mandel, “I just love the spirit of the season.”
But not everyone has embraced the Passover spirit.
“Today’s American Jewry has forgotten the meaning of Passover,” said Providence Rabbi Isaac Shpilman. “It used to be about the deep significance the Exodus holds for the Jewish people – about the struggles of our ancestors in Egypt. Now it’s all lamb blood and frogs.”
Continued Shpilman, “And why do they have to start so early? Passover is almost a month away. Stores haven’t even taken down their Purim decorations but suddenly I’m hearing Michael Bublé singing ‘Go Down Moses’ in every strip mall in town.”
As of press time, no fewer than half a dozen Jewish dads were berating a RadioShack clerk for failing to stock a transformer of the caliber necessary to power a 13-foot singing Moses.
