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In what is being called an “unforgivable act” by enraged citizens across the U.S., Jimmy cracked corn early yesterday morning, sparking nationwide ramifications and presenting an immediate challenge to Congress and the White House.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called a press conference yesterday afternoon, decrying Jimmy’s cracking of the corn and saying that she will work across the aisle to repair the damage that the corn-cracking has done to the nation. Mitt Romney has criticized President Obama’s treatment of the situation, claiming he has been “too soft” on Jimmy and demanding Jimmy be made to answer for his crimes immediately.
As riots continue in nearly every major city across the country, police are working to quell enraged citizens who fear for the safety of their loved ones. Many have blamed state and national legislators, proclaiming that the corn cracking could have been prevented. Some citizens have stood behind Jimmy’s actions, however, pointing out the possibility that this may all be a misunderstanding and that the country has a lot to learn from the situation.
“I think that what we’re looking at here is just another case of police brutality and political scapegoating,” said Los Angeles resident Harrison Yates.
The U.S. Department of Agriculture has refused to comment on the situation.
