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The Brown Noser

Jo’s To Add Second Empty Ketchup Dispenser For Late-Night Rush

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

In response to increasing demand, Brown Dining Services director Martha Lorn announced that Jo’s will add a second empty ketchup dispenser to help ease the late night rush.

“One empty container isn’t enough to keep up with the hundreds of students who eat at Jo’s on weekend nights,” Lorn said. “To fix this, we’re adding a second dispenser that will start with a little bit of ketchup in it, which we will not refill after it runs out a few minutes later.”

“This is awesome,” said junior Alex Kennon, who regularly eats at Jo’s. “Whenever I try to get ketchup I always have to wait behind a few kids who pump the lever for a moment before they tell me it’s empty. This will cut those lines in half.”

“This gives me a much better chance of getting a little bit of that ketchup splatter that comes out after you try for a minute,” Kennon added eagerly.

This exciting news comes right after Jo’s added more variety to the selection of bags of chips with weird holes in the bottom. It has also given life to rumors that Jo’s may even add a second water fountain so slow that it takes about three minutes to fill up a bottle.

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