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The Brown Noser

KIND Bar Condemned To Depths Of Backpack For All Eternity

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

It became clear Tuesday that a KIND bar has been condemned to the depths of area man Jerrod Williston’s backpack for all eternity. “A week ago I took it with me as a snack but forgot about it, and at this point I think it’s staying down there forever,” Williston said, noting that the fruit and nut bar has receded into the deepest recesses of his Jansport. “I see it peeking from under my books from time to time. It’s getting pretty crushed and the chocolate is melted, but I always leave it there, thinking I might want to eat it someday. I guess it’s just never seeing the light of day again.” At press time, a Nature Valley bar had joined the KIND bar in its everlasting imprisonment.

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