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The Brown Noser

Kamala Harris Fine Either Way

Published Friday, November 1st, 2024

In a story first reported by CNBC this past week, Vice President Harris was reportedly totally fine either way.

“Yes, reaching the highest office in the nation has been my dream since I was a little girl,” Harris told press, half-heartedly, mostly thinking about going home. “But also, not doing that would be fine with me as well.”

“My career has been a whirlwind of excitement,” Harris continued, potentially referring to the fact that she started running for president in July, “and I am so excited to take that excitement all the way to the White House! Or, you know, not do that, if that’s how the cookie crumbles.”

“To become the first female President of the United States would be the greatest honor of my life,” she concluded, resisting the urge to sigh into the microphone. “But to be honest, I was already the first female Vice President, and it was a thankless job, so I wouldn’t mind taking a breather.”

At press time, Melania was actively pulling for Kamala to win.

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