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The Brown Noser

Kid Listening To Music In Shower Immediately Establishes Himself As Floor's Alpha

Published Friday, April 21st, 2017

Placing his speaker next to the shower stall and turning it up so loud it could be heard from the hall outside, sophomore Jeremy Kendrick immediately established himself as the alpha of Perkins’ second floor.

“The first time I saw him walking into the bathroom carrying his Bluetooth speaker,” said neighbor Cynthia Henry, “I immediately knew he had all the power. I can’t imagine ever being that bold and having the confidence to play my music so that everyone else in the bathroom has to hear it. That’s why he’s him and I’m me, I guess.”

Neighbors report that the music Kendrick plays is mostly Top 40 hits, demonstrating a taste in music that his peers wouldn’t think he would be so confident about. Furthermore, he’s usually in the shower so long that they often have to listen to the playlist twice.

“I don’t think Jeremy means it as a power play but it definitely sends a message,” Henry continued. “It lets him claim the bathroom as his own. No one else dares to play any music in there. And if you need to shower while he’s already in there, you just have to listen to whatever he’s playing. In that way, he really sets the atmosphere of the floor.”

At press time, Kendrick furthered his reputation as the alpha by having the confidence to sing under his breath along to the music.

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