Minecraft sweatshirt owner Aidan Kenney is about to say a word at recess that is so heinous it would cause most adults to be swiftly terminated from their place of work.

“Yeah, I’m pretty excited about this one—my older brother Declan says it’s a really, really bad word,” bragged Kenney, unaware that this word is in fact bad enough that it would be grounds for an adult to be fired and taken to court. “I’m gonna save it until recess, and then I’ll don my trusty Minecraft sweatshirt and shriek it from the top of the jungle gym.”

“I’m pretty famous in the fourth grade already because I pioneered the first use of the word ‘anus,’" continued Kenney, unknowingly about to do something that would have long-lasting implications for his career if he was an adult. “Declan says this one is way worse and that I should never, ever say it. So right after I put on my Minecraft sweatshirt, I’m definitely gonna go say it.”

At press time, the kid wearing neon Nike shorts was announcing plans to tell you something that would make you conscious of your body for the first time ever.

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