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The Brown Noser

Kid Wondering When Entire Extended Family Going To Come Home From Buying Those Cigarettes

Published Friday, December 5th, 2014

Waiting by the front window and imagining the family car pulling into the driveway, local eight-year-old Benny Jensen is reportedly wondering when his entire extended family will come back home from buying those cigarettes.

“We’re just going to make a quick run to the Gas-N-Go!” said Jensen’s parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and thirty-two cousins before driving off in sixteen family cars nearly 72 hours ago.

“Be back soon!” all fifty-three of them added.

“When is daddy coming back?” said Jensen as he tugged on his absent mother’s dress hanging in the closet. “Also, when is mommy coming back? And Sam and Yvonne? And Uncle Joe and Aunt Kelly? Grandpop? The quintuplets? All of the Hansens?”

Beginning to worry, Jensen says he is also unsure when his entire hometown of 14,000 people will come back from picking up that carton of milk at the grocery store.

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