Friday, July 21, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Kids Lost In Woods Wasting All Their Bread On Useless Little Crumb Trail

Published Friday, April 21st, 2017

Completely disregarding any fundamental survival instincts, lost children Harry and Grace, wasted all the bread they had on making a useless little trail of crumbs in the dirt.

“Thank god we have so much bread,” explained Harry as he took pieces of the only food source they had and threw them on the ground. “Who knows how long we’ll be out here? But our number one priority should be making a trail. And bread is so good for that. That’s what it’s best for.”

Sources report that the children had been wandering around the woods ever since their evil stepmother had dropped them off their that morning. The loaf of bread they had been given was the only available source of food in the woods besides a house made of candy hidden in the deepest part of the forest.

“I guess we could make a mark in the tree with my knife,” continued Henry, oblivious to the fact that forest animals were already eating the bread crumbs he had been dropping. “But I don’t want to dull my blade. What if I need to use it to hunt?”

At press time, the twins were complaining about how hungry they were.

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