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Grammy Award-winning rock band, Kings Of Leon, clearly don’t seem to get that their 2008 smash hit, “Sex On Fire,” describes an altogether painful and totally unsexy experience.
You would need so much lube and, like, fireproof condoms, which are definitely more expensive than regular ones,” local music expert Keely Francis posited, bewildered at the pyrodynamics of the act in question. “Besides, wouldn’t the bed also catch on fire?” Francis continued, tearing apart the feeble logic of the alt-rock anthem. “The whole being ‘on-fire’ thing sounds like a fucking nightmare.”
“It probably wouldn’t even be good for the guy either,” Francis continued as she googled the maximum temperature for intercourse. “And foreplay? Forget about it, dudes don’t even wanna do it at a regular temperature,” she concluded as she removed the song from her “Bedroom Tunes” Spotify playlist.
At press time, Geri Halliwell clearly didn’t understand that the sky only rains water, not men.
