Partly Cloudy, 64°
In a recent press release, cosmetics and haircare manufacturer L’Oréal announced that it would soon introduce a new revitalizing shampoo that’s great for straight and wavy hair but by no means deserves to be worshipped as a god.
“After just two weeks of using the new Shea Voluminous Shampoo, your hair will be thicker and stronger,” said L’Oréal spokesperson Grant Brigham. “However, this product is not so great that it deserves your unwavering religious observance. That would just be ridiculous.”
L’Oréal stressed that while the product would certainly give you healthier, more luminescent hair, the label does not mention anything that suggests it is on the same level as a deity and therefore worthy of divine reverence or canonization.
“If you are trying to reveal your most extraordinary hair by resealing damaged fibers with moisturizing Moroccan oils, then this is the product for you,” said Brigham. “If you are looking for a supreme, all-knowing being to pray to nightly and give your undying faith, this is not the product for you. It’s as simple as that.”
L’Oréal officials also noted that consumers should not misinterpret their new line of cocoa butter anti-aging conditioners as harbingers of God’s wisdom just because they will leave your hair feeling fun, flirty, and silky smooth.
