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The Brown Noser

Last Bus Full Of Students Finally Arrives From Gala

Published Friday, April 19th, 2019

Sources at the Main Green report that, after more than two months, the last bus full of students has finally arrived from Gala 2019: Under the Sea. Eyewitnesses described the gloomy scene as students with sunken expressions, torn blazers, and emaciated bodies disembarked from the yellow school bus.

“They filed out, one weathered face after another,” reported Luke Norbit ’19. “Some looked bewildered at being back on campus, but most were just expressionless. This one guy sank to his knees the moment his feet touched the grass."

Ethel Hershkowitz ’19 explained that no student had any idea how long the ordeal would last. “We thought the bus was only going to be a few minutes. But minutes became hours, and hours became days.”

“After spending the first nights sleeping on the open dance floor and on the balconies, we started to fashion shelters from the chairs, tablecloths, and deep-sea themed décor.”

As the weeks progressed, the stranded students depleted their meager provisions. “We had no idea it would take so much time, so we didn’t do a good job rationing the risotto,” Hershkowitz lamented. “Eventually, we had even exhausted the sugar crystals.”

As of press time, the 2019 Classboard had apologized on Facebook for the mishap.

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