Tuesday, October 19, 2021
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The Brown Noser

Lazy Baby Won't Even Wipe Sauce Off Face

Published Friday, September 17th, 2021

According to reports, an entitled neighborhood baby is so lazy he won’t even wipe the sauce off of his own face.

“For starters, I have to feed him myself because he can’t even hold a fork properly,” commented the child’s mother, Sandy Griffith. “Then he just sits in his high chair and expects me to wipe apple sauce off his chin. What a messy, lazy guy.”

“He even makes me push him in a stroller everywhere. I guess he’s just too lazy to walk,” continued Griffith, also noting that her son cries when he wants something instead of using his words. “He needs to learn to start pulling his weight around here.”

At press time, the baby wasn’t even changing his own diapers.

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