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The Brown Noser

Library Debuts “0 Decibel But Thinkin’ Horny Things” Section

Published Friday, October 27th, 2023

Catering to pent up demand, a local library has debuted their new ‘0 Decibel But Thinkin’ Horny Things’ section.

“We knew exactly what you little horny bastards were thinking,” said librarian Sophie Minken. “So we got you your own little section where you can go be saucy, studious freaks amongst other patrons who can’t study with noise but are thinking sexy thoughts the whole time.”

“It feels so great having a designated section for everyone on the same page as me,” said ‘0 Decibel But Thinkin’ Horny Things’ patron Matt Barstow, stealing a cheeky glance at the two other patrons inaudibly studying. “The levels of tension in here could be cut with a knife, but like a really silent knife that also perhaps could be part of some really hot fantasy.”

At press time, a local club is about to debut a ‘Turning Up, But Mostly Just to Forget About Your Ex’ section.

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