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Sources report that Brad Bradson, local lifeguard at Allenhurst Beach in Allenhurst, New Jersey, is unimpressed with the beachgoers’ bodies.
“For instance, I am not impressed with that body,” said Bradson, pointing to a woman heading toward the water. “It’s like, hit the gym, you know?”
Bradson watched the crowd of people wading into the water with an unimpressed ‘tut’ as he ran his hands over his toned abdomen and expounded on a regular exercise routine that could really help some of these lame-o’s out.
“Just 10 pushups a day would do the trick—that guy’s doggy paddle would look a lot less strained in a few weeks,” said Bradson, watching a father swimming with his son.
At press time, Bradson was psyched to see someone drowning so he could dive in and show the beachgoers what a real body looks like.
