Due to recent romantic circumstances, your little cousin Shelby, age 8, is wondering why you, a girl, decided to date someone who is also a girl. “If you are a girl, and she is a girl, how are you dating?” asked Shelby, dunking a dino nugget into ketchup as she pondered homosexuality for the very first time. “I thought that boys like girls, and girls like boys, so only boys can date girls, like how cousin Jake is dating Rachel. Why don’t you just date cousin Jake?” At press time, Shelby was also wondering why Uncle Jim’s wife doesn’t live with him anymore.

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