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Leaning up against the tailgate of his red F-150 and giving it a solid slap, Provost Richard Locke encouraged workers at the COVID test factory to “load’er up.”
“Hell, there’s nothing that this roadhog cain’t haul,” said Locke, nodding assuredly to factory workers dumping loose boxes of COVID tests into the truck. “The bosslady trusts me this task because she knows me and The Roadrunner can supply basically all of BWell.”
Factory workers confirm that Locke asked them if “they wanna toss’in any’a those vaccines syringes.” He was also seen honking from the street outside the dorms of recently COVID positive students, calling out, “why don’t you hoponup into the cab and we’ll cruise on down to the Marriot.”
“The capacity on’er is what makes it worth it,” continued Locke, referring to the lifted Ford F-150 he uses to haul supplies to Brown’s campus. “I don’t know how many times Rashid has called me asking if he could borrow’er and grab a mask payload from down’round Warwick. I bet he wishes he had a truck.”
At press time, Locke was seen putting a tarp in the bed of his truck to make a hot tub for his buddies in the administration.
