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The Brown Noser

Local Senior Laments Last Ever Monday 11:00 AM Page-Robinson Gender Studies Class

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Local Senior Daniel Shell was reportedly in a wistful state after leaving his last ever Monday 11:00 AM Page-Robinson Gender Studies class.

“It just makes you realize how quickly life goes by, you know?” reported Shell, letting out a sigh and looking back at the Page-Robinson Hall with a single teardrop running down his cheek. “I remember when college was full of my Firsts — my first kiss, my first love, my first Monday 11:00 AM Page-Robinson Gender Studies class. Now it feels like it’s just my Lasts.”

“I wouldn’t consider myself particularly sentimental,” continued Shell, staring off forlornly into the distance, resting his hand one last time upon the door handle. “It’s just, as a kid you think you’ll always be there in Page-Robinson each Monday morning, discussing and situating gender as a complex analytical category. But then one day, it’s all gone, and you’re left beating ceaselessly against the past, remembering discussing all the ways institutions have shaped and defined the functions of gender and sexuality.”

At press time, Shell was seen looking back one last time at Page-Robinson from beneath a fedora, mumbling “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

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