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The Brown Noser

Lowercase Q Kind of Sexy

Published Friday, December 8th, 2023

Sources at Brown University confirmed that lowercase Q is kind of sexy.

“I’m not saying that any of the letters are particularly attractive, but lowercase Q is the best of the bunch,” reported Alexander Lagace as a cold sweat trickled down his blushing face. “But it’s only a little sexy! It’s not, like, weird or anything like that.”

“I could see why someone might be drawn to lowercase Q’s salacious loops and enigmatic curves,” continued Lagace, growing flustered at the thought of titillating words like Quixotic and Quiche. “It emits such a raw, sensual aura. For some people, I mean.”

“I’m not gonna make a big deal of it,” said Lagace, scribbling lowercase Q all over his notebook. “I just want to give credit to a letter that is—comparatively speaking—pretty sexy.”

At press time, the semicolon was being pretentious again.

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