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Deranged psychologist Cynthia Schulz, PsyD has been coming up with vile hypotheticals for her unfortunate patients.
“What if all the people tied to the railroad tracks were babies? What if they were also racist?” asked Dr. Schulz to the child of divorce in her office. “If you hit the lever, you spare the lives of five innocent babies, but they will grow up to be horrible bigots.”
“What if you gradually replaced every piece of Theseus’s ship with lit sticks of dynamite, and then sailed it directly into a coastal animal shelter?” asked Dr. Schulz, in between maniacal cackles. “Would it still be Theseus’s ship? Or would all those lonely animals die?”
At press time, Dr. Schulz’s counselor’s license was in a superposition of being revoked and not revoked at the same time.
