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The Brown Noser

Man Designs Three-Month Bragging Plan For Upcoming Marathon

Published Friday, April 24th, 2015

Local man Mike Palamara announced last week that he has designed a rigorous three-month bragging plan for his upcoming marathon.

“A lot of people don’t realize just how demanding bragging for a marathon can be," said a beaming Palamara. "There are a lot of different aspects to a full bragging plan, but my design really maximizes all of them. It’s a very challenging plan, but I want to get in as much bragging as possible before the marathon.”

“A lot of people just focus on bragging to close friends and family,” Palamara explained. “But my plan really targets all the neglected people, like all the other parents at school, the other people at the gym, taxi drivers, waiters, and most passersby. If you can tell five new people each day, you’re golden.”

The 12-week plan details Palamara’s innovative new methods of working the upcoming marathon into any kind of conversation, as well as subtle ways to ensure that he’s doing some kind of bragging at all times, such putting a “26.2” bumper sticker on his car.

“The weekly bragging schedule is central to the bragging plan,” added Palamara. “Four days a week of intense marathon bragging, two days of cross-bragging about my other accomplishments, and a rest day just to feel smug by myself.”

Palamara went on to emphasize that post-marathon bragging is also very important, suggesting that it is best done immediately after the marathon in a large quantity and again in small quantities every day for the following few years.

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