Eyewitnesses report that a man has gracefully dismounted his bike as if he were a swan alighting upon a tranquil brook. “This guy swung his jean-clad leg over the seat while still coasting towards the bike rack,” recounted one bystander, describing the deft swoop that evoked the majesty of a waterfowl descending upon its roost. “It was like he and his bicycle were one glorious creature, flourishing in its natural habitat.” At press time, the bicyclist was struggling to shake a rock out of his shoe and giving off distinct flamingo vibes.

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