Screaming phrases like “What!”, “Wow!”, and “Incredible!” as he stepped from the dark hall to the sunny front porch, local man Ewan Peggers told reporters last Tuesday that he can’t help but scream with pure joy every single time his transition glasses transition.

“I’ve had these puppies for ten years and the change from glasses to sunglasses has never ceased to amaze me!” said Peggers, adding that he can confidently attribute his consistently good mood to the pleasure of the transition from clear to tinted frames. “How the heck do they even know when I’m in the sun? That’s what boggles me most—they just sense the light! I’m going to have these glasses for the rest of my life!”

At press time, Peggers was on his fifth hour of running from spots of shade to spots of sunlight.

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