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The Brown Noser

Man Taking Stairs Instead of Escalator Exuding Raw Athleticism

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

Sources report that area man Trevor Gill recently displayed his Herculean strength by taking the stairs instead of the escalator. Witnesses at TF Green airport excitedly described the sudden demonstration of Gill’s unbridled athleticism.

“I saw him and it took my breath away,” reported traveler Sarah Bullock, recounting how Gill had surprised the entire concourse by bounding up the flight of steps. “You would not have believed it. The escalator was right there, but no, for him, that wasn’t enough of a challenge.”

“The ascent was magnificent," Bullock continued. "You could tell that with each heave of what could only be barrel-sized lungs, and every thump of his muscly heart, that oxygen was just coursing through his sinewy body. He was able to keep a steady rhythm, one explosive stride after another! It was a feat that many would deem impossible.”

The unstoppable force was later seen easily hoisting his bag off the luggage carousel.

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