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The Brown Noser

Man Toasts To Another Year Of Going From His Apartment To His Car To His Office And Back Every Day

Published Friday, December 6th, 2013

Local man Michael Dover started his 35th birthday celebration with a toast to another year of the same routine, going from his apartment to his car to his office and back every day.

The celebration took place at O’Neil’s Pub, a bar that Dover likes to think of as his favorite, but which he rarely goes to now that things are so busy at work. “Thank you all for being here,” said Dover, who hasn’t seen most of his friends since his last birthday. “I’m so lucky to spend the big three-five with you guys.”

“I’ve really been thinking recently about all the fun times we had together,” said Dover, which is what he often does sitting in traffic on his way to and from work, whenever he isn’t practicing a presentation in his head.

Dover reportedly told a story of the time he and his friends went streaking 15 years ago. He could only recall this anecdote from his college days, since now all he does after a 10-hour workday is eat ramen and fall asleep to reruns of “The King Of Queens.”

“Wow, we’re really gonna kick it this year,” laughed Dover after the story, already realizing that he probably needs to prioritize other things before seeing his friends again, like the household errands he never has time to do because he’s too tired after work. He even suggested they take a road trip together for old times’ sake. “I wouldn’t be able to drive though,” added Dover. “Too many BlackBerry emails!”

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