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The Brown Noser

Man Traumatized From Tragic Ink Factory Accident Not Benefiting Psychologically From Rorschach Test

Published Friday, September 27th, 2024

Local man who was involved in the tragic ink factory accident several months ago is reportedly not benefitting even a little bit from his therapist’s use of the Rorschach test.

“The Rorschach Test was invented as a psychological tool which can then be used to analyze emotional wellbeing,” said licensed therapist Dr. William Stonewell, as his patient spasmed with fear in the waiting room. “However, after like seven sessions with this guy, I’m beginning to realize that his lack of emotional wellbeing might actually be being CAUSED by the test. I couldn’t believe it at first, since it’s the only actual therapy I’ve ever had to do. Just slap that inky bad boy on anyone, and boom! Therapized. So I am shocked for the first time in my entire psychology career. I’ve come to the conclusion that the Rorschach Test is actually possibly counterproductive for this man, who tried and failed to save 3 of his beloved coworkers from being violently pulverized by a machine at the ink factory.”

“Even I was stumped about why he wasn’t showing signs of improvement,” said Dr. Stonewell, after his client had run screaming and crying from him for the eighth week in a row. “I also tried hiding behind the door and waiting for him to come in, before jumping out at him and going ‘Your fault your fault your fault!’ But maybe if someone sees too many of their coworkers die in an ink-related accident, then an ink-based psychology test is just too much for them. No one could have predicted this.”

At press time, the physical therapist of a man with no legs was trying to explain that the treadmill worked for all his other patients.

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