Sources report that Doug Chikhol, 32, treats his car like a woman, and thus probably also treats women like cars.
“When he turned the ignition, he said ‘Listen to her purr,’” one witness reported. “I can only imagine that he calls attractive women ‘hot rods.’”
“He says, ‘My love and I are hitting the open road’ every time he leaves work,” said a colleague of Chikhol. “I bet he’s on his way to a bar to try and honk women like a steering wheel.”
At press time, Chikhol was using airbags as an anatomical term.