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The Brown Noser

Man With Metal Detector At Beach Hopes Father’s Approval Is Made Of Metal

Published Friday, March 7th, 2014

Hugh Fraser, an unemployed 27-year-old living in his parents’ basement, reportedly spends an average of six hours each day at the beach with his metal detector. “You never know what you’re gonna find in the sand," said Fraser. “Watches, necklaces, iPods, my father’s approval that I’ve been longing for ever since I began disappointing him at a very young age.”

“Still haven’t found that last thing,” Fraser added. “But so far just today I’ve picked up about $1.27 in loose change. Not a bad start.”

Fraser, whose interest in metal detecting began after receiving a metal detector from his aunt on his 16th birthday, hopes that there is some chance his father’s approval contains metallic elements, rendering it detectable by his Beach Comber 980. “Hold on, this might be my father’s support for all my life decisions!” said Fraser, digging with his hands after his detector began to beep. “Nope, just a belt buckle.”

Despite years of struggling to measure up to his father’s unreasonably high expectations, Fraser is certain that everything would change if he were able to locate his father’s acceptance in the sand. “It’s crazy the stuff people leave behind, I mean, some of it is really valuable stuff," said Fraser. “Like, for instance, if I find my father’s approval, maybe he will stop belittling my achievements and tell me he is proud of me.”

“Or I might find a Rolex,” he added. “You never know!”

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