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The Brown Noser

Meiklejohn Not Actually Happy To Get Coffee Whenever

Published Friday, September 14th, 2018

Sources report that despite giving out his phone number and generic advice on general subjects at the end of their first advising meeting, Meiklejohn Jordy Houston, would not actually be happy to get coffee whenever.

“Oh, yeah, I guess I said that I was their student guide and here for anything they need, be it academic or social or anything,” explained Houston when reached for a comment, “But c’mon. They’re not really gonna reach out, and I’m pretty busy.”

“What would I even do to help?" he added. "I’m a sophomore and haven’t even picked my own major. Don’t get me wrong — I’m so honored to be a part of this age-old tradition of passing down knowledge and community support. But at the same time, I couldn’t care less about what happens to these kids.”

Houston reports that he saw all of his advisees copy down his phone number even though he purposely sped through the numbers.

“I hope they won’t actually use it. God knows I never bothered my Meiklejohn.”

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