Gently rubbing the “SCOTUS” tattoo he got on his wrist the night after President Obama nominated him to the Supreme Court, Judge Merrick Garland admitted he was regretting his impulsive decision. “It was definitely a lapse in judgement on my part but I was just too caught up in the excitement of the moment to think straight,” Garland confessed, pulling up his sleeve to cover the tattoo. “This Supreme Court thing was supposed to last forever so I wanted to do something permanent to commemorate it. I never thought the Senate would put a stop to things so quickly. But I still can’t stop thinking about what could have been.” At press time, Garland announced plans to cover up the tattoo with a skull and bones holding a gavel.

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