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The Brown Noser

Mid-2010s Pop Song Includes The Worst Rap Verse You’ve Ever Heard

Published Friday, April 22nd, 2022

Roughly two thirds of the way through “Blow Ur Mind” by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J, it became clear to all listeners that time was running out and that following the upcoming chorus would be the worst rap feature they had ever heard.

“Blow your mind like it’s a candle, blow like soup too hot to handle,” rapped Juicy J in the most unnatural and jerky rhythm imaginable, trying his very best to tailor his lyrics to the narrative of the song but immediately giving up. ”She makes my heart beat up out my chest, party all night no time for rest.”

“It’s going down tonight just you and me, I’ll show you things only you can see,” continued Juicy J, over Katy Perry’s ad-libbed cooing, doing everything in his power to use the most lazy sexual innuendos possible. “She’s on my lips like a stick of chapstick, doing tricks with her body like a magician doing magic.”

At press time the song had been gradually fading out for 25 seconds and it still wasn’t over yet.

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