Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Misleading Beam Of Sunshine Makes Grad Center Dorm Look Like Inviting, Comfortable Place To Live

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

This Sunday, a resident of Grad Center A reported that a misleading beam of sunlight momentarily made their single room look like an inviting and comfortable place to live. “For a few minutes, the golden ray of sunshine lit up the room, making the bleak, pockmarked wall look warm and homey,” said the anonymous resident, forgetting their shitty, disruptive hallmates and the rock-hard, dirt-caked, teal carpet. “I actually believed this was a place I’d be happy to spend the next eight months of my life, and not the claustrophobic cement prison I’ve always known it to be.” After marveling at what was clearly an ephemeral façade of a comfortable room, the resident walked to the Ratty, where they were again fooled by a rather appetizing-looking piece of chicken.

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