Tuesday, August 22, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Pablo Ortiz


Pablo's articles

Joukowsky Panel Just Political Science Professors Sighing With Heads In Hands | Apr 21 2017

In what is being considered a cornerstone discussion synthesizing the state of U.S. politics under a new administration, the Joukowsky Forum’s recent panel featured five political science professors sighing with their heads in their hands. “They say silence can be more powerful than words, and this discussion literally contained no words,” said IR concentrator and audience member Ethan Homme ’18.

MCM Department Expands To Accommodate A Third Track In Dank Memes | Nov 04 2016

In what is considered a long-awaited move to promote societal relevance, Brown’s Department of Modern Culture and Media has announced plans to accommodate a new focus track in dank memes. “It’s a reflection of the new ways in which media is approached academically,” says Jane Reuter ’18, full-time Redditor and part-time MCM student.

Every Animal In Zoo Clearly Taxidermed | Dec 04 2015

Noting the overwhelming scent of formaldehyde, visitors at the new Westview Park Zoo reported that every animal in the zoo is clearly taxidermied. “I’m sure all of the animals are just stuffed,” said Meryl Pena, standing by the African plains exhibit.

Weird Long Fingernail Not Helping Guitar Player At All | Oct 30 2015

After witnessing a performance of Johann Sebastian Bach’s “Prelude in D Minor” that was poorly executed, out of tune, and lacking in basic musical understanding, sources confirm that amateur Guitar Player Adam Carlo’s weird long fingernail must not be helping at all.

Belt Fit Last Time | Oct 30 2015

Unsure of whether to be frustrated or ashamed, area man Don Garfield came to the realization Tuesday that his belt did not fit this time, even though it most definitely fit last time. “I thought it would fit this time, you know? Because it fit last time,” said a distraught Garfield, commenting with his trousers at his ankles because his belt did not, in fact, fit at that moment.