Local mom Theresa Clarke reportedly enunciated everything on the Gepetto’s menu with a heavy Italian accent while out for dinner with her family, sources report. “I’m fourth generation Italian and I’ve never rolled my ‘r’ on arancini as long as she did,” noted waiter Ross Trigo as Clarke pronounced “ziti” with fourteen syllables. “She really had a field day trying to pronounce vinaigrette. Who does she think she’s fooling?” At press time, Clarke accidentally knocked over her wine with her wild gesticulations while speaking.

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