Mosquito sources report that your mosquito repellant isn’t effective, mosquitos are just repulsed by you. “Yeah, it’s not like I’m a huge fan of citronella, but that’s not what actually turns me off. It’s you. Like, you as a person,” stated a local mosquito who’s been flying around your face but refuses to actually bite you. “Sorry you sprayed that stinky juice all over yourself for no reason. But, fact of the matter is, mosquito repellant doesn’t bother me as much as the thought of biting you does. Sure, I need blood and all, but I don’t need blood that much. Like, ew.” At press time, mosquitos were swarming a horse’s ass.

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