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The Brown Noser

Movie Would Be Better If Dog Talked

Published Saturday, February 18th, 2023

According to sources, area man Josh Gruff thinks a movie would be better if the dog talked.

“I don’t know, there was just something missing,” said Gruff following a viewing of the heart-wrenching new film about abject poverty Triste Pauvreté. “Just wish we had been able to get the dog’s opinion.”

“My mind just kept going, ‘what would Bonbon have to say about this?’” said Gruff, perceiving the dog’s voice as essential to the film despite the dog’s five minutes of airtime. “Honestly it just would’ve been really impactful to have him give his take on the rising prices of wet dog food.”

When Bonbon didn’t appear in the final third film, Gruff left the theater in a huff. “He should’ve at least gotten a final monologue,” said Gruff with a shake of his head. "He gave the best performance of the whole damn cast.”

At press time, Gruff has declared basketball games would be better with more flash mobs.

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