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The Brown Noser

Murderers Urge Nonviolence

Published Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

In the wake of the grand jury ruling against the indictment of NYPD officer Daniel Pantaleo, those complicit in the murder of Eric Garner urged protesters to remain orderly and nonviolent.

NYPD Commissioner William J. Bratton, under whose command an officer killed an unarmed black man needlessly and with impunity, told those unhappy with the decision to remain peaceable in their protests of the violent assault. Bratton instructed NYPD officers to deploy whatever force they felt necessary to ensure that protesters do not deploy any force whatsoever.

In the wake of a series of similar murders of unarmed black men by police, including the killings of Ramarley Graham, Tamon Robinson, Kiminai Gray, and Akai Gurley, amongst countless others, NYPD officers expressed their hope that protesters would use restraint. Bratton, whose officers routinely use violence in their interactions with citizens, assured protesters that the best way to handle situations such as these is through tempered, rational discussion or, preferredly, silence.

"I became a police officer to help people and to protect those who can't protect themselves,” said Officer Pantaleo, who egregiously failed at both aims when he decided to choke a defenseless person to death. “It is never my intention to harm anyone, and I feel very bad about the death of Mr. Garner.”

At press time, officers were lining 5th Avenue brandishing deadly weapons to keep the city safe.

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