Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to area curator Sloane Pendergrath, museums are still under the impression that standing for a long time is fun.
“When I design an exhibit, I know visitors prefer to bask in the beauty of the art while their knees lock and the soles of their feet cry out in pain,” noted Pendergrath, meandering through a vast gallery with a single folding chair as the only source of seating. “I want the museum’s guests to experience three, or even four, hours of uninterrupted standing.”
“If you really want to take in our exemplary collection, I recommend spending at least 15 minutes with each work,” said Pendergrath, gesturing to a room filled with dozens of paintings and not a place to sit in sight. “Some visitors enjoy the standing experience more with someone else leading the way, so we also provide knowledgeable, and very verbose, tour guides.”
“Once the visitors have exhausted the indoor exhibits, we also have a breathtaking outdoor sculpture walk,” added Pendergrath, certain that guests would love the feeling of their heavy tote bags digging into their shoulders as they walked through a grassy area without any benches whatsoever. “Not to mention our rooftop installation on the 14th floor—without an elevator, of course.”
At press time, Pendergrath was convinced that the cafe was definitely everyone’s least favorite part of the museum.
