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Sources report that the mustached pool player in Faunce is clearly just Christina Paxson taking part in some undercover boss reality TV show. Paxson, whose disguise consisted only of a lopsided adhesive mustache and a backwards baseball cap, could be found challenging students to pool in Faunce over the past several days, using a slightly deeper voice and introducing herself as “Chris.”
“Her subpar pool skills were the first giveaway,” said one student who was challenged by Paxson yesterday. “She obviously had no idea what she was doing or how to play the game, but who could expect her to? It was clearly President Paxson in disguise. Her mustache kept falling off.”
“She also kept asking deep, probing questions that no student would ever ask,” said the student. “When we were playing pool, she kept asking if it was something I played a lot and whether I thought the university should expand funding for recreational opportunities on campus. Who does that? Also, I’m pretty sure we were being filmed the entire time by hidden cameras.”
At press time, Paxson was at a John Street basement party trying to figure out how to Venmo the host.
