According to sources, the Naked Donut Run is actually more of a nude donut-hole jog. “I was expecting this to be a lot more scandalous, as well as for there to be actual donuts and faster running,” said freshman Evan Trainor, craving a bit more donut, nudity, and speed from his peers. “Instead, they were just kind of politely passing out donut holes and lightly jogging while tastefully nude. It was a bit of a let-down.” At press time, the Jo’s spicy chicken sandwich with cheese was actually more of a kind-of-spicy chicken sandwich with cheese product.

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