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Demanding that they deal with greater minutia on a daily basis, the nation’s assembly line workers said yesterday that they’d like to be given even more specific tasks. “We on the assembly line are sick and tired of doing specific things like welding a single axle onto a car or placing a tiny chip inside a cell phone, and instead want to do super specific things like installing one key onto a laptop keyboard,” said Art Johnston of the American Assembly Line Workers Association, adding that he hoped the age of placing individual parts into larger products would end in lieu of an age of putting smaller individual parts onto slightly bigger individual parts. “The smaller and more trivial the task the better, we say. We hope that the capitalists who profit from our labor understand that unless they give us tasks so insignificant that it is unclear why they even need to be done they will profit no longer.” At press time, the nation’s fast food workers again demanded that they stop being exploited and finally be paid less than the minimum wage.
