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Sources from US-based ice cream factories have revealed that the nation’s butter pecan ice cream industry is suffering after a recent rancid nut incident.
“We’re crossing our fingers that we’ll see sales numbers bounce back in the first quarter of the 2025 fiscal year,” shared ice cream CEO Becky Kringle, shaking her head as she recalled the thousands and thousands of gallons lost due to contamination by rancid nuts over the past weeks. “This industry has been brought to its knees post-rancid nut incident, but we trust that the people’s love for butter pecan will carry us through.”
“We take pride in producing creamy, sweet ice cream with fresh, normal-tasting pecans swirled throughout,” said Kringle, who had had the personal misfortune of taste-testing countless buckets of ice cream ruined by the briny taste of rancid nuts. “It’s our deepest shame that for so long, we were unable to provide our delicious product. But after this rancid nut incident is resolved, we promise that butter pecan will be back and tastier than ever.”
At press time, butter pecan ice cream was only eaten by great-aunts anyway.
