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Leaning back in their office chairs as they stubbed out a lit cigarette, the nation’s detectives announced plans to realize they’ve been looking at the case all wrong.
“Collectively we’re proud to announce our upcoming decision to stare at a piece of paper for 30 seconds, widen our eyes, and then murmur ‘Wait a moment!’” wrote the detectives in a press release. “We’re excited to grab our coat and storm out of the office, with our assistant detective trailing behind us, asking us to explain.”
Before embarking on this new path, the detectives had been pursuing a strategy of pacing around the room, putting postcards up on a corkboard, and sipping slowly from a glass of scotch.
“We look forward to picking our head up off the table, furrowing our eyebrows, and remembering a throwaway comment that the victim’s daughter made when this whole sorry affair started,” wrote the detectives. “We’re excited to smack our palms against our forehead, grimace, and shout that we’ve been looking at the whole thing upside down, by God!”
At press time, the nation’s criminals announced plans to laugh at how long it took you to figure it out, Mr. Detective.
