Partly Cloudy, 64°
Just this morning, the Nation’s Female Leads Looking For A Place To Think announced they will be settling alone for a moment at the bottom of the pool.
“We just like the way it makes our hair kind of float up in the air,” said Female Lead Jessica Cornswick, slowly and dramatically walking down the pool ladder in all her clothes. “It’s just so quiet down there. It works especially well since we’re at this party. Once I go underwater, all the talking and music will totally go away. It’s gonna have this really cool effect. I’m just gonna go down there and hold my breath for a bit. Then, when I come out of the water, I’m gonna seem totally nonchalant about it. Like, I’m gonna be really deep in thought in that pool, but once I come out of the water, I’m totally gonna put on this really gregarious façade. It’s gonna paint me as this, like, really complicated figure.”
At press time, Cornswick announced that none of the Nation’s Other Female Leads were anything like her at all.
