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The Brown Noser

Netflix Steps Up ‘80s Nostalgia Campaign By Trafficking Thousands Of Arms To Nicaraguan Contra Fighters

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

Television streaming giant Netflix has announced plans to step up its ‘80s nostalgia campaign by illegally trafficking thousands of arms to Nicaraguan contra fighters.

“We want to take this ‘80s craze one step further after the success of ‘Stranger Things’ and ‘Black Mirror’s’ San Junipero episode,” announced CEO Reed Hastings in a press release yesterday afternoon. “That’s why Netflix will celebrate the launch of Stranger Things season three by flooding Central America with millions of dollars-worth of US-made weaponry. We’re bringing our viewers back to the 80’s they know and love. Fun clothes, crazy hair, bloodshed in foreign countries without the guilt of an American-led war, and great music.”

The marketing campaign has had mixed-reception among viewers. “I love reliving the ‘80s. Back then we didn’t have to worry about the future,” said Jeremy Brown, born in 1976. “We could just play Dragon’s Lair and watch the Thriller video and sell weapons to Iran in the hopes of covertly funding right-wing guerilla fighters.”

Competitors have been quick to respond. In a tweet this afternoon Jeff Bezos announced Amazon’s plan to lobby the Department of Justice to increase the war on drugs, while Hulu attracted international criticism for its overnight invasion of Grenada.

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