Celebrating yet another innovative approach to education, the University recently announced the new Brown-Providence College Dual Degree program, which enables students to explore white privilege in both liberal and conservative academic settings.

“For so long, we thought that our rampant racism made our school unique,” said President Christina Paxson, explaining the historic initiative in a campus-wide email. “However, we recently realized that this tradition actually connects us to plenty of other academic institutions, including our good ole’ Catholic neighbor!”

“The program will require students to split their time equally between Brown and Providence College, allowing them to learn from the overwhelmingly white faculty at both schools,” Paxson continued, explaining that students will benefit from a dynamic mix of both left and right-leaning elitism. “We believe that a blend of PC’s cultural conservatism and Brown’s disingenuous affectations of progressive values will make for a robust educational environment.”

This announcement comes on the heels of a new Juilliard-NYU Dual Degree program, which will allow students to explore financial privilege through multiple useless majors.

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