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The Brown Noser

New Caliente Snackpass Discount Whatever You Willing To Pay

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Sources report that Caliente’s new Snackpass discount is whatever you are willing to pay. The deal, available via the food-ordering mobile app, represents a desperate gamble for the Mexican restaurant as it attempts to break into the Thayer restaurant market.

“Yeah, our situation is obviously pretty dire,” admitted Rick Stevens, Caliente’s hapless manager. “Our business is hanging by a thread, and that thread is just accepting whatever our Snackpass customers are willing to give us.”

Since arriving on the Eastside last fall, the restaurant chain has faced an uphill battle on a street dominated by more established competitors. “Look, it’s not easy having a wildly successful Mexican restaurant a block north of us, and another a block south,” an exasperated Stevens continued. “We know we’re not Baja’s, and you obviously know we’re not Baja’s, so we have to do anything that we can to survive.”

“If that means just taking whatever money people are willing to throw our way, so be it.”

At press time, Snackpass was listing the reward for 5 Caliente points as “literally whatever you want.”

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