Tuesday, September 17, 2019
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The Brown Noser

New Climate Report Just GIF of Earth Exploding

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

A new report by the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is just a single GIF of the Earth disintegrating into billions of pieces.

“This report is the result of a six-month multidisciplinary effort,” stated Dr. Rona Humphrey, one of the authors of the report. “Veteran climatologists, oceanographers, and agriculturalists worked in close collaboration on this comprehensive study of world-wide climate change. We used rigorous predictive models but, when we plugged everything in, we just ended up with this incredibly detailed GIF of the Earth detonating.”

“Usually, these IPCC reports are hundreds of pages long," Humphrey continued. "They contain detailed analyses of climate trends, examine their implications, and list appropriate steps for policy-makers. Remarkably, this time we managed to fit all of our findings into a single animated loop!”

As of press time, no one had read the report, and the scientists involved with the project were seen loading provisions onto a rocket ship.

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