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A new report from experts at Brown have confirmed that the only thing constant across the multiverse is Dean of The College Rashid Zia double concentrating in Engineering and English.
“We’ve recently discovered that even the laws of physics do not apply equally to all universes, but Dean Zia embodies the spirit of the Open Curriculum in all dimensions,” said Astrophysicist Samson Clark, taking note of the billions of Dean Zias, using billions of different dialects, to communicate the Brunonian mindset grounded in independent, innovative leaders. “As a true architect of his own education, even the rules of space-time cannot stop Zia from interdisciplinary exploration.”
In one distant galaxy, where all humans worship a green hamster God called Zorp, Clark confirmed Zia was seen encouraging Comparative Literature majors to try a math class because every corner of the universe deserves a vibrant intellectual environment filled with flexibility of choice.
“There’s a universe where all beings have sixteen legs and creep like centipedes,” continued Clark, studying one dimension’s iconographic depiction of Zia balancing a tome of Shakespeare in one hand and a calculator in the other. “In this universe, Zia’s extra fourteen legs amount to more tools for navigating his creative development and freedom of study.”
At press time, experts revealed that in no universe is the Sharpe Refectory a pleasurable dining experience.
