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Shaking his head in disappointment and claiming he had been misinformed, newly elected mayor Jorge Elorza told reporters last Wednesday that he was surprised to learn he would not begin wearing a top hat upon assuming office. “I was under the impression that Marshall Greenwald—the best hatmaker in Providence—was on his way over to the State House to take my head measurements,“ Elorza said incredulously as he wistfully stowed a gold-handled cane in the locked drawer of his desk and told aids to cancel all the orders of three-piece suits. “I ran for mayor because I thought I’d get the hat. I even started growing a mustachio to compliment the hat but I might as well shave it off now. I guess the horse-drawn carriage isn’t happening either?” At press time, Buddy Cianci commented that Elorza took the bait like a big dope.
